The most fundamentally established institution is the family which consists of the father as the captain, the mother as the catalyst and the supporter, the children as the ones who ceaselessly promulgated joy to the family. However, the roller-coaster ride of life is inevitable and thus the family institution must foster an unbreakable bond between one another by sustaining the trust in the family by not making any empty promises which will indubitably shatter the stronghold of faith built by the family.

“Yang…!” My mom shouted, “Why don’t you study for your SPM!?”

“Here it goes again…” I muttered in my mind.

“Do you know that time is not on your side?” Mom repeated this countless times already.”The rest of your cousins score straights As for this SPM!”

“Oh My God…” I whispered with annoyance.

“You should know which age group of people are supposed to do!” Mom was trying to bottle-up her anger.

I shut my phone and looked away from her.

“YANG! HOW DARE YOU?” she burst with wrath,”STUDY NOW, YOUR COUSINS KNOW WHAT TO DO, WHY CAN’T YOU?”

My gaze locked back on her complexion.

“HOW COULD YOU EVEN SCORE WHEN YOU DON’T EVEN STUDY!?” her anger was decrescendo, “You know what Yang, you want to live a sedentary lifestyle, GO AHEAD.”

I was sick and tired of what she said.

“Its your future after all.” My mum sighed, “I have NO EYES TO SEE YOU!.”

She slammed my bedroom door shut.

“What was with her…” I murmured, “Every time comparing me with my cousins.”

This dire situation had continued since March because of the impending SPM and also Mom’s incapability in coping with pressure from her business. Mom brought her work back to the home most of the time which unequivocally converted our home into a workplace which led to an array of adversities which originates from my Mom. Randomly throwing tantrum and making caustic remarks at us for no apparent reason.

Why did she always make a comparison between me and my cousins? Were they not different from me? Was everyone not created distinctively unique to protrude the real meaning of being a human?

Did my mom have the answers to all these questions? Did she know that her comments were torturing my heart and mentality? Did she know her actions were tantamount to driving someone insane?

No, she DID NOT KNOW.

The family members were in fear to tell her about her flaws because even Dad could not talk some sense into her hard-cored head due to her obduracy and unwillingness to accept criticism with an open-mind. When Dad talked to her about her tantrum problems and work issues, Mom would turn a blind eye on Dad which was very disappointing for Dad.

Even Dad could not suppress the tantrum and hardcore monster in Mom, it would be absurd for us, her children, to even talk to her. We live in fear that our Mom would erupt like a volcano spilling its lava on us in due time if she could not manage her time well.

My mom was sitting in front of her laptop all of the time, she did not even know I studied. Should I blame the fate? It was because when I was taking a hiatus from studying, Mom will knock on the door and disseminate negative thoughts in me which indirectly diminished my mood to study for the rest of the day whereas when I was studying, she never witnessed it. I study whenever my brain allowed me and to escalate my knowledge in academics but I have no intention to study for my Mom because all of the things I gained from studying would benefit me.

This was just the threshold of her wrath, what would happen during her menopause stage? Was this family doomed? Would it crumble into pieces? Would it be crushed by Mom to smithereens?

Looking at the bright side, she was abusing us verbally only, not using any violence, I was grateful about this fact. Grabbing hold to the faintest light at the end of the tunnel, I hoped that my Mom would correct her parochial mindset of comparing people and not to be living in denial about her downside. A human could not achieve impeccability in all aspects of life because we have imperfections but we could strive to make ourselves more amiable to negate being the beleaguered lot.

Deprive

P.S. April 2016

 

 

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