“Sorry. I can’t join you. Next time maybe. Be careful.”
I stared at the text she sent for quite a while, letting it to sink into my thoughts, digesting it as it was. Was I too harsh? Maybe I should look before I leap…
Walking to the train station was akin to a boat sailing into the ocean without shores, her rejection had defeat one of the main purposes to go to Big Bad Wolf. All of the fantasies which played through my mind between us had shattered into pieces and scattered asunder in my mind which messed up my cognitive senses.
“Heyy… Yang!” It brought me back to my senses. My friends from another class called me.
“Wow… Such a coincidence…” I was surprised. At least the train ride would not be mundane. “Why are you guys here?”
“Going to Mid Valley…” Mun replied,
“Why are you here… Lone ranger?” Eng teased.
“I got rejected…” I sighed, “So… I guess I’m going to the Mines solo…”
“What?” Mun interjected, “Is it the book fair?”
I nodded in agreement.
The train came. We boarded it. During the ride, we chattered on random topics most likely related to school. My mind started to drift into a reverie as the journey started, I was not attentive to the surroundings including their chatter. Was I a failure in getting girls out? Where and how did it go wrong? It was alright at first, then the unprecedented rejection hit me like a truck. Was it my complexion or my attitude? Was I not generous enough? Just… Why?
All these questions lingered in my mind throughout the ride.
“Yang, its gonna reach the next stop for your transection.”
“Oh…” I snapped back into reality, “Thanks Mun.”
“I need to get down now guys…”
I waved them goodbye. Patiently waited for the train to come.
Boarded the next train.
Disembarked. Finally… Just a little more then I could submerge into a sea of books.
I walked and enjoyed the view on the way. She was forced not to come… Its not mea culpa… Should I text her and ask her what she wanted?
As I reached the destination, the book fair certainly let my expectations down because the books were sporadically placed without following their genres across the exhibition hall and it was half the size compared to the previous year plus the most of the books were a little torn due to mishandling. I stopped the complaining and started to salvage good books from the piles of mess.
Hunger prompted me to stop and take my lunch. I walked in exhaustion to find a place for lunch because my concentration was squeezed dry from the variety of books that I have to run through to determine whether to buy them or not.
“Bacon, you need any books?” I texted her after finishing my lunch.
“Help me get some Sidney Sheldon, would you?” I scratched my head and wondered who was that.
“Okay, I will take a pic for you when I found it.” I agreed without hesitation.
Who was this guy? Where should I start the search?, I thought, Maybe start from the middle.
An hour passed, could not find it, I felt like finding a needle in a haystack, that kind of inferior.
I randomly took a picture of the array of books displayed and sent it to her.
“Lee Child.” Yeah… Totally forgotten she was fond of thriller…
“Thriller right? I will pick some along my way.”
“Thanks!” I could sense her excitement through her text and contentment surged through my bloodstream. This might be the least I could do for her… At least its something…
Once I got home, I segregated the books which I selected for her, packed them into a paper bag, ready to hand them to her through Yu. Hope she likes them.
“Yu… Help me give this to Bacon when you meet her on Tuesday?” I asked earnestly.
“Sure…” she smirked, “Is there something between both of you?”
“No…” Kind of… “Just hand it to her.”
“Why didn’t you write a note or something?”
“Is there a need for that?” I questioned.
“Just for sincerity reasons.”
“No need…” I answered plainly.
I regretted it on Monday. Fortunately, I snapped a picture of a handwritten note to Yu and asked her to write it down on a sticky note and to attach it on the paper bag.
“Did you do what I asked?” I asked Yu frantically after she gave her the bag.
“I gave it a little twist…” She sneaked a sinister smile.
“I showed Bacon the actual note instead of writing them down.”
Shit… My handwriting was like dog shit… Hope she won’t mind…
To Bacon: Hope you like the books I've picked. The books are a little flawed so I hope you won't mind P.S. Hope From, Yang
P.S. 1-8 Jun 2016
Disclaimer: Sorry if I let you guys hanging just like that. This a continuation from the previous post-Pseudo-hope. Hope you, readers, know how I feel.