“Cut the chase, Yang.” Qyng drowsily mumbled.
It was 3 a.m. in the wee hours of the day, the room was filled with excitement but hindered with exhaustion due to the awesome performance that we had in Singapore.
“Yalorr, don’t hide around the bushes…” Foo complaint.
“Okayy…” I took a deep breath, “I don’t like her anymore.”
The whole room turned to a prison of perpetual silence for the moment, the bewilderment hit them like a truck, making them speechless.
“…What?!” Foo and Qyng exclaimed in unison.
“I don’t like her anymore.”
“You guys must not tell anyone about tonight,” I asserted.
They nodded in agreement. Kin was sitting at a corner slurping his cup noodle and keeping an ear to listen to me. The prime reason I gathered them was to seek their advice for my predicaments and my ‘whereabouts’ in my life because they were more experienced and more matured in dealing with these kinds of problems.
“So it was during the mid-term exam, she changed her status in whatsapp about me…”
“You said it last time.” Foo interjected.
“Alright, I reckon she is making a fool out of me.”
“Why do you say that? I thought from the story previously…”
“No, I found out something.”
I scrolled to her my previous conversation with her which made me flabbergasted and imposed uncertainties in my feelings for her. Do I really love her? Is it worth the wait? is she playing with my feelings for a year and a half? What if I am being a fool of love for all this while? I desperately need some answers.
“Think about it, if you guys are at temporary separation with your boyfriend, would you like to hear his voice occasionally?”
“Sure, why not?” Foo agreed.
“Well in that case I was segregated from her for a year and a half and I did not hear her voice.”
“Have you tried asking her?”
“Countless times, but to no avail.”
“Not even once she picked up?”
“Not even when I need her in my most difficult times… My grandma’s demise…” my composure was holding back my tears. “Even so, I ask but she refused.”
“Holy shit…” Qyng was shocked. “Then who did you call?”
“I phoned Bacon. She picked up my phone and I cried through the phone for 10 minutes.”
“Oh my god… Why is she so cruel?” Foo said when she was looking through the convo.
“Ruminating about her, indeed she is.” I realised the embedded hatred in my heart was brewing for months. “Eventhough it was a very simple request, her voice… ”
“How could she treat a human like that?”
“Then how did both of you communicate all this time?”
“All this time is just purely through whatsapp texting only.”
“I wanna see the text.” Foo passed my phone to Qyng.
“I just cannot accept her reluctance of picking up your phone calls. Every text that she sent to you was too straight forward. She is forcing you to type something for most of the texts to satisfy herself. Why does she want to do this?”
“How can I put this… Hmm…” Foo was searching for words, “she likes the feeling when she is being loved by someone.”
Putting it bluntly I was being an asshole wasting a year and half on counterfeit love.
P.S. 11 July 2016
A wake up call.
Disclaimer: Sorry for not posting for a while. I am very busy with my life but I will post whenever I can find time. Really sorry. The continuation of the story will have the same title. Be ‘hope’-ful for it.