Murphy’s law states that things that may go wrong will go wrong. Even the most stoical person may break after countless grueling storms; even those with bovine calmness may be frantic when their fears overwhelm them; even the most patient person will explode with wrath after crossing the breaking point; humans will be undoubtedly inflicted with impacts which come after a chapter of life.
“Bacon, I need your help.” I phoned her.
It was around 11 p.m. we were rushing for our homework, but I needed to get this wrenching thought out of my mind. I was glad she picked up the phone.
“Spit it out, Yang.” the scribbles of her doing homework strayed through as she was speaking.
“I am very stressed out.”
“It’s normal, Yang. The imminence of the exam prompts our instinct to be aware of it. If you are not stressed out, that would be abnormal.”
“True, but this is another situation.” I paused as I was not prepared to tell anyone about this, “I am done with her… but I still can’t get over the fact that I wasted so much time on her.”
“To err is human, to forgive divine.”
“But I wasted so much time.”
“It was not short though…”
“A year and a half.” I interjected sternly.
“You should be over with it by now, I remembered this belonged to the distant past, at least you came back to your senses.”
“When something made me reminisce about her…”
“You should worry about something more serious.”
“The exam.” I said bluntly. “Right. But…”
“No buts. Just focus on your exam.”
“Another thing.” I quickly added. “recently, I like someone.”
“Leave everything aside right now.” Her voice was tinged with frustration.
I was pondering about what she said.
“Yang, change your mindset, don’t always think about stress, when you think about stress, it will start to build up.” she yawned. “Be more positive, night.”
That ‘someone’ was actually indicating two people- her and Lerr.
She was right. I should be focusing on the exam.
Being scarred by a past love made me craved for someone to suture my wounds.
This was certainly not the way.
P.S. 19 July 2016
Contemplating with feelings.