Teressa, reporting into service, operation Omega, code number-0331, target locked down, Jason, not much information acquired, physical, 1.75 metres in height, bald, sinewy, random dressing style, no pattern detected, no information attained about the convoy, all seemed normal. Signing out, Teressa, 13 May 2000. It was her voice, stern, mechanical, robotic in style, I used to hear that tone when she was serious about a particular matter, a pang of reminiscence hit me, when we first moved in together, I heard her during my sleep, I rarely fell into deep sleep because I feared that I might be attacked at any moment favoured by my enemies.

Teressa, report no. 31, successfully moved into the convoy, they believed in me, most importantly, target fell for me, I must play along, any information would be reported. Signing out, Teressa, 14 July 2000. She was a spy all along. I was foolish enough to let her in. Unplugging my ear phones, melancholy and betrayal strangled my heart, I took a deep breath, continued the listening of her last words.

Teressa, urgent, 0331, 31 August 2002, cross-border drug dealing, worth billions, secure immigration. Signing out, 30 August 2002.

Teressa, urgent, 1235, 25 December 2003, customs heist, involving all the Big Three, I repeat, all of the Big Three. Signing out, 24 December 2003.

Those were all the major yearly heist listed down by her mechanical voice, the betrayal deepened the scar of my beaten-up heart. The savvy of her true identity weighed me down every second her voice running on the Walkman.

After the reports during 2004, they were all counterfeit, that was why the trades after 2004 were smooth sailing, the government was stupid enough to put only one vanguard, a spy, to monitor our actions. I was not surprised because most of the giant drug dealers came crumbling down into smithereens after 2004 when the government decided to bleach us, the criminals, thoroughly.

It was mea culpa did I not pay much attention to the happenings around the globe or even the news, I seldom sat at the couch to watch television or tuned the radio to listen to the news, all I did was striking deals, drug trafficking, and spending quality time with her without realising she was an underdog sent by the government to sniff us out eventually. However, our convoy produced exceptional results after 2004, after the retribution on the giant drug dealers. It was the time I started to recline myself from this ‘industry’. The time I acknowledged that she was more important than other things of my life. Mostly she cajoled me out of this hell hole, she implored to me daily, and I started to fell even deeper for her, having the obscurity of her true identity.

Teressa, I am sorry about the fake reports for the past few years, I am signing out of the government to protect my love- target, Jason. It had been an honour serving for the government. But, my decision is final. Signing out, Teressa.

She did not cited a date in the recording, I could slightly surmise the period of time when this happened because there was times when we were incessant, spending most of our times on my Harley. Landing on the grounds of the Japanese, set foot there for a year or so. My boss, the convoy leader showed up when we were least expected, asking us back into the convoy. I accepted it reluctantly to negate any unwarranted problems. We were back in the US, and March the 13th happened.

Jason, this is Teressa, I’m really sorry about not telling you things for the past few years of our relationship, I sacrificed my service for the country just for being with you, I really love you. I was very selfish, I apologise about that, and everything that had had happened. However, when you are listening to this, I am probably dead, for approximately three years, and you are presumably out of the freaking ‘industry’. I know the fact that you are out because I love you and understand you the most.

You must be feeling a mix of betrayal and grief and many other feelings that are hard to adhere to, you are quite good at putting up with all those shit, even when you had attempted to throw this Walkman away, you still listened to me to the very end. This was why I fell for you, hard.

I’m sorry, Jason. And. I love you, from the bottom of my very heart. I have two final request. Now that you had know the true me, you could hate me or whatever, it all depends on you, I just need you to stop visiting me, stop thinking about me, put a full stop in our relationship. Move on. That would be my first request.

The second, and the last, have hope. Remember when you asked me about my favourite quote, I did not have one, but after I know you, and love you from the bottom of my heart, you made elucidated about the meaning of hope. I still want you to carry on my legacy of having hope. This is my last words, it’s lengthy, maybe I am getting old, but I hope you would adhere to everything I had said here.

With hope, Teressa.

I sauntered around the vicinity of the memorial site, left the sticks of cherry blossoms there, and the Walkman, left everything behind me. I started life anew with hope that everything would be better.

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