Another day, another time wasted talking about change, but not executing it. I sat at the corner of my bed, scrolling mindlessly through my phone, shutting myself out of any form of life except from my phone. Occasionally, I would switch my thoughts to her, for awhile, but I knew, being me, I am not ready for this kind of commitment.

When are you ready then? You know there is no such thing as being ready in life.

You mean starting a relationship?

How dare you say that if you can’t even manage yourself? If you can’t even pull yourself together, what rights do you have to ask for a healthy relationship? You can’t even save your own ass. I’m talking about your writing and your life. 

Yes, I’m get…

What yes? You know what, we had this conversation and fights for almost more than a million times now. You can’t even write something out every day like last time, you are getting less and less productive by the second as I’m speaking. 

What do you want from me? Reality is…

Screw your stupid reasoning with reality or your studies, it was never an issue last time, and this time around it shouldn’t be. YOU are just giving yourself excuses, you are neglecting yourself, letting yourself rot in the mire of your own excuses and comfort. 

So, I’m goin…

Just shut it. Go and do what you need to do. 

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Pedigree

Craving for more? Down below:
A Call To Reform
Invisible. Real.
“I’m Still Alive.”
HARAPAN BARU
“You Have The Choice.”
Balloon Twisting
Where Do I Get My Pictures?

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